Jack Frost

This film is one of my absolute favorite bad horror movies period. As a holiday-themed horror film it cracks my top two (Gremlins #1). This is the only Christmas horror flick that I can watch anytime of the year. In fact, I have watched it a couple times since this film-watching project kicked off to stave off boredom or just when I could use a good laugh. I like it that much. Plus, where else can you witness a serial killer snowman who can drive police cruisers?

On the way to his death sentence, Jack Frost’s prison transport crashes into a truck carrying mysterious genetic altering goo. Predictably, Jack Frost gets mixed up in the goo and becomes a snowman bent on killing everyone in the sleepy town Snowmonton (where it snows Styrofoam and paper flakes), including the Sherriff who captured him in the first place. Totally makes sense, right? What happens from here is the stuff that B-movie legends are made of. Put your reading caps on.

To understand and fully appreciate this film it requires getting into the minds of the characters and actors. Case in point, an old man is found dead on the outskirts of town. The coroner immediately declares that it appears that the old man’s head was pushed back by something like a giant mitten. Yep, the old giant mitten cause of death. Nothing the people in this movie say or do has to make sense.

The only requirement is the dialogue must further the plot or be insane – or both.

The next high point involves Jack Frost using a sled to remove a teenager’s body from his head. Somehow the Sherriff gets into an argument with the grieving father about whether the Sherriff’s kid was responsible, because that is what men of the law do in this film. The Sherriff uses the defense that his son would never fight the other kid because, “He is at least two feet taller than my son.” Off camera someone yells, “Not anymore!” Ya know, because the kid is shorter without a head. That line brings so much joy into my life. You have no idea.

A few moments after her brother’s decapitation by sled, Shannon Elizabeth decides she needs to hook up with her boyfriend. Naturally, they break into the Sherriff’s house in order to get it on. Where else can two teens have sex in a small town? Shannon gets really comfortable and decides to take a hot bath before the sexy time. Jack Frost shows up and pumps the young American Pie star full of beta-carotene before uttering a line that even James Bond couldn’t say with a straight face, “Looks like Christmas came early this year.” Watch the clip. Now watch it again.

Other moments of Zen include, as I mentioned earlier, the snowman cruising around in a stolen police car – without the aid of those pesky things called legs and the fakest looking snow ever dreamed up by a special effects person. The kills include everything from icicles of death, axe handle down the throat, to the old standby holiday death, strangled by Christmas lights with ornaments shoved into the mouth. It’s all as bonkers as it sounds.

However, everything in the movie fails in comparison to the final battle between the Sherrif and the “world’s most pissed off sno-cone.” ***Spoiler Alert*** The two combatants end up in the back of a pickup truck full of anti-freeze. This causes Jack to melt so the Sherriff is forced to pretend wrestle with a large piece of fabric for what feels like ever. It is beyond ridiculousness and seals the fate of this movie as one of the finest B-horror efforts of the ‘90s.

Hands down Jack Frost is a masterpiece of horror cheese full of puns and insaneness at a level not normally ever seen in American horror comedies. I don’t throw this out there lightly, but this film deserves consideration whenever the best of the genre are discussed (Evil Dead, etc).

Rating: 9/10

Snore Factor: Z (Perfect pacing, tons of fun)

IMDB 1996

Trailer / Clips:


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